August 4, 2012- Day 30- Final Day in Ghana

Today I went to a beach resort with a few of the volunteers that were still left over from the July group, most of whom are leaving tomorrow as well.  This beach was beautiful.  There were coconut trees everywhere, all encircled by old coconuts shells.  The beach itself stretched out so far and the air around us had a slight fog and mist to it.  We walked for a while along the beach and collected some really cool seashells.  I even found two sand-dollars and a shell that was bright pink.  Most of the day was spent laying on chairs along the beach and just staring at the ocean, again thinking wow I can’t believe I am in Africa.  My friend Yo felt the same way.  We just couldn’t believe that we had been here for a month, actually living in Africa for one month.  We also ate some coconuts picked fresh off of the trees. As I walked to get a taxi back to Elmina, I finished off my time in Ghana just right.  I got myself a rockie (muffin) and a FanIce (ice cream in a bag that tastes like vanilla ice cream mixed with vanilla frosting).  Both of these things I will miss about Ghana.  For the rest of the night I am just going to relax at home with my family, enjoying music and food, just being in Ghana for a little bit longer.

Random stuff I‘ve failed to include in my journals:
-I mentioned earlier that everything comes in bags.  I forgot to say that even shots of alcohol can come in mini bags that you have to rip the corner of and drink from.  
-In Ghana, it is considered rude if you smell your food, a sign of disrespect. That is difficult for me because I have a thing for smelling everything.  I just need to know how it smells.  I always forget not to do it.  
-Sometimes you will see men here with one very long finger nail or maybe two.  It looks very odd.  I asked Francesca about it and she said they just do it for fun, maybe to scratch things or pick at something if they need to.  Pastor Sam said that it can be a sign of being in a certain group or gang.

This entire journal has been pretty unorganized and mostly consisted of my personal feelings and thought processes.  To finish off the experience I just wanted to say that I feel privileged to have been able to come and visit even a small part of Africa.  It’s been such a wonderful experience on so many levels.  I have met a lot of amazing people and learned a lot from them about Ghana and about culture in general.  I have learned to deal with and adapt to a different culture which makes me feel as if I am advancing anthropologically.  This entire trip has made me feel that my life has finally begun to move forward.  I’m just extremely glad that I chose to travel and chose to come here for this experience.  I am also grateful that I didn’t get any sickness, parasite, malaria, etc.  I have been pretty healthy this whole trip.  I have also been pretty happy.  On that note, I can’t wait for the plane ride back home tomorrow.

See you soon America!

August 3, 2012- Day 29

There are a few things I wanted to mention before my trip is over.

-Plastic bags are called poulitans. 
-When people want you to come they either say “bra” which means come and then do an up/down waving motion beckoning you to them, or they make the sound “Ssssss.”  

Before coming home I wanted to make some lists.

Things I miss most about home:

-being with the people I love

-hot showers

-having clean hair

-food, so much food, especially sweets

-wearing skinny jeans and tight clothing

-late summer nights

-not being the only white person that everyone stares at and pays attention to.  I miss blending in

-being able to sleep in because I’m not woken up by barking dogs, loud music, or shouting women or screaming children

-just my life in general. everything is on hold, so much is going on back home and I’m not there for it. I want to just get back to being me and hanging out with friends and family and do stuff that I want.

Things I will miss when I go back home:

-walking along the ocean on my way to work, with giant palm trees, huge waves, and fishing boats

-seeing beautiful African children who are so cute and loving and adorable everywhere.  There are so many kids everywhere here which I love.

-sitting outside at night listening to really good African music and watching everyone socialize

-the pineapples here (they taste like candy)

-lack of stress because this isn’t my reality that I live in so I don’t have to deal with anything

-everything costing so little

-women singing all the time here
-bright and colorful fabrics

There are some things that when I first got here I missed a lot about home.  But after a week or so I forgot about them and now don’t care.  Examples include the way it smells here, like sewers and fish, and the amount of dirtiness and garbage everywhere.  I still recognize these things but they don’t feel foreign anymore.  I’m sure the fresh air and cleanliness of America will shock me.  There are a lot of things that when I got here I was shocked about like the poverty and the small shacks that people live in and the naked children with swollen bellybuttons.  These things are still tragic but after you see them every day you become desensitized and don’t feel upset every time you see it.  It’s really interesting to observe the transition in myself.  I know there are things that I should miss but they don’t really phase me.  I didn’t even start missing most things on my list until the past few days when I started to think about going home.  I learned to deal with it.  It’s really cool to me how we force ourselves to adapt.  We don’t fight change for very long because there is no reason to.  I put myself in this situation and knew that if I didn’t adapt as soon as possible that it would be so much more difficult and painful to be away from home.  I started out having a panic attack here and then snapped out of it the very next morning because I knew that if I allowed myself to continue to panic any longer that I wouldn’t mentally survive.  I think humans are really cool for that aspect of adaptability that we have.  I’m proud of myself for being able to do that because it often seems that at home I let my emotions get out of control and it messes things up for me. The more you let yourself lose control, the more out of control things become.  But when it was really important to take care of myself, I did that and everything turned out to be amazing and here I am at the end of my journey feeling happy and functioning better than normal.  I just think its amazing how when faced with a challenge at first it seems so difficult and you have no idea how to deal with it, but somehow you just figure things out.  I was so nervous about taking taxis here because you have to find taxis and go to stations and hail cabs on the side of the road using various hand signals for different locations all while communicating with people who barely speak English and often try to rip you off.  But after the first time, it’s as if somewhere inside of myself I already knew how to do this.  I didn’t have to teach myself, I just picked it up.  A lot of my learning here felt that way.  Not necessarily like a challenge, just natural.  It felt natural to adapt to something scary. I felt unusually calm for most of this journey.  

Knowing the progress that my mind has made since coming here is really incredible.  Seeing my difference in opinion from day 1 of this journal to day 29 is such a cool thing.  I have learned so much in Africa about myself and about the world.  And I’ve learned that I love cultures just as much as I knew I did.  It really reassured me that Anthropology is exactly what I want to do.  I love cultures.  It also made me realize how little I know about American culture and made me wonder what the cool little intricacies of our culture are and if we even have any.  There are so many cool things that are done here, so many symbols and specific acts that are hard to observe in our culture because to us it is just the way that we live life, not something that you can explain or define as culture.  Coming to Ghana makes me want to read my Anthropology textbooks more thoroughly and do my own outside reading on so many countries.  I love it.  

One thing I am scared about is any future traveling.  I feel like it’s really weird to be away from home for so long, for the most part disconnected with your whole life.  Yes, I can adapt and get used to it and take care of myself, but home is the happiest place on earth.  I love the people I know and the places that I live and the things I have surrounded myself with.  I don’t really want to be away from all of it for very long.  However, traveling does make you appreciate home and does make you appreciate the life you have.  I feel so fortunate to be alive and living the life that I am living.  That’s why I would recommend an opportunity like this to everyone, especially people my age who don’t know where they fit into the world and who have a problem finding happiness and peace inside of themselves.  Leave your world behind and discover the rest of the world because in doing so you’ll find out how good your life is.  It’s good to take yourself out of your comfort zone, away from people who love you, away from the ease of daily life in the United States.  This will teach you to not take any of that for granted.  You will come home a much happier person, relieved to return to the life you left behind, and even happier to be a part of that life.

August 2, 2012- Day 28

Today was my last day at work.  I walked by the beach like I do every morning.  I felt so much anxiety inside of me still from last night and it just felt so heavy and consuming.  I kept trying to focus on the beautiful women carrying baskets on their heads, on the ocean waves coming in and out, on the breeze through the palm trees, on the beautiful African children running around and playing.  It was all incredible.  I realized how much I love being here and how happy these things have come to make me.  Over time, things here have come to feel like home. 
Getting home from work to my host family is nice.  Walking these streets, experiencing what I’ve been experiencing, has all just been so awesome.  At work, I dug up more beds which is always intense labor.  I’m using all of my muscles, pulling up dirt with a hoe, getting calluses on my hands, pulling my shoulder, sweating like a maniac, getting dirt in my hair and all over my face.  It’s pretty awesome.  So I did that for about one hour today.  My muscles have seriously gotten bigger.  I’m definitely stronger than before.  Then, we literally sat for the next 4 hours.  Aya, Kofi, Cynthia, Monica, and I all sat and talked and took naps throughout the midday. Neighbors would trickle in and we would talk to them and then go back to napping.  I just stared off into the distance.  I can’t believe 4 hours went by.  It was really nice and relaxing.  I think the comparison with back home is that at home we feel that we always need to rush off to the next best thing which I think is because there is a next best thing to rush to. Here, I felt antsy and rushed the first few days and then I realized, there is nowhere for me to rush to, there is nothing better I could be doing than just enjoying life with these people right here doing absolutely nothing.  It’s a really nice feeling.  At first I felt trapped about it because I couldn’t go hang out with my friends when I was bored and wanted to see them. Then I realized, I came all the way to Africa.  This is the way it is.  Deal with it.  And so I did.  Ever since I came to that realization, I’ve been pretty okay overall.  Even my trip here as a whole, I simply had to realize that this isn’t forever and that I’ll get home at some point, but in the mean time I may as well just be here.  

After sitting, Reverend Sam showed up with another feast for my going away party: large amounts of chicken, rice, and sugar cookies.  It was really nice.  I told him about my idea.  My idea that I presented in my presentation yesterday in order to progress the organization is that interns should be given more opportunity to really take action in this program, rather than just working on the farm.  I told him that maybe for one month they could work on the farm in order to get a good feel for it, to see the needs, and to understand where the goals of the organization lay.  After this point, they should begin working in the office doing research to look for other organizations with a similar mission all across the world, and furthermore write letters asking for funding to further our project.  I feel that this would take the CLCD so much further with its goals and would also greatly enrich the intern experience.  He loved the idea and was so excited to bring this into the program for future volunteers.  I may try to do this type of work when I get home as well, to try to help out further and to stay involved in the program even after leaving.  

It was really hard saying goodbye to Aya and the family.  I really loved being around them all and knowing that this is such a real goodbye made me feel sad.  I hugged her a bunch of times and she kept saying “Oh, Sister Esi!” and then “You call me when you go to America.”  It was just a really moving experience to realize how much I had gotten used to seeing them every day and that I would miss them and also knowing that they would miss me too.  I would love to come back here many years from now just to check back in with everyone.  It’s so cool to come to Ghana or to travel anywhere and make such a connection with so many people and know that if you would ever come back that they would immediately invite you into their home and let you stay there for as long as you want.  People in Ghana are so open and friendly in this way.  I’ve been taken into this family.  Aya told me to send money so that they could build me a house there. Then I can always come back and just stay with them there in my little house.  I know that even Reverend Sam would not hesitate to let me live with him.  It’s such a good feeling.  

Today I asked Cynthia what she loves most about living in Ghana.  She told me that this is a country of peace and everyone loves each other.  I told her that America isn’t like that.  We don’t love each other the way they do here.  You can meet someone and the next minute they will be your life long best friend here.  She said that if you haven’t seen one of your close friends for maybe one or two days, you will go and find them and ask them why they have not visited you and ask them if they are upset with you and all of those things.  I love that closeness and the way everyone is family here.  Even if I go to America for 10 years and then come back, they will say to people “This is my sister from America.”

For the next two days that I am here I will be relaxing at home and just enjoying myself.  Then on Sunday morning I will wake up early, bringing all of my bags and everything with me, and go to Reverend Sam’s church.  He said that he is going to present me with a gift in front of the whole church and give me a good send-off.  Then from there, we will leave for Accra and I will get on my plane for a 12 ride back to the United States of America, 28 hours of traveling total from leaving Cape Coast to Accra, Accra to Atlanta, Atlanta to Boston, and Boston to Falmouth.

Cultural fact of the day: People here are very superstitious.  If you trip on the sidewalk or even stub your toe, this is bad luck and puts a curse on your day.  Due to this, every time I trip on something or run into anything, they always say “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”  I think they are apologizing that I will have bad luck now, not because it was their fault that I tripped.  

Later:

It’s a good night in Ghana when you come home from work, hang out with the family, helping make some tilapia, good music playing in the square, and then you go upstairs and relax to an episode of that 70s show and a bowl of spaghetti with milk and sugar.  Life is so weird and yet finding ways to adjust is so normal. I love that there are things that have become my favorite meals here and that there are things that when my mom here makes them for me, I know it is because she knows its my favorite and that I’ll eat all of it.  Today she made me this really good coleslaw salad stuff. It is so perfectly delicious.   

August 1, 2012- Day 27

I couldn’t sleep last night.  Life is too exciting.  I’m going home so soon and I can’t wait.  Not because Africa wasn’t amazing, but because life is great and every next thing that I do always makes me so happy and excited to do that.  I was excited to go to Cape Cod, then so excited to go to Africa, and now excited to go home!  I love living life always moving from place to place because I am constantly getting ready to go somewhere and living in that fun anticipation of the next great adventure.  It makes me realize all of the good things in life because I am away from people I love every time I go anywhere, so I am always realizing how important those people are to me when I am not with them and then when I get to see them again.  

This morning Francesca was talking to me about the little girl who lives with them, named Esther.  She was from a poor family who could not afford to take care of all of their children.  So, in exchange for a little bit of help around the house, they took her in.  They treat her like she is their own child.  They send her to school, feed her, give her special treats once in a while, and she is expected to do some small chores like sweeping or washing dishes.  The past few days I have seen her crying a lot.  She does not want to be here and she cries and cries.  Her father finally came for her and she was telling him lies about how they scream at her and beat her and accuse her of being a thief.  So he took her home for the vacation from school which lasts one month.  Francesca said that she will realize how well she had it here because at her home they are very poor and she will be very hungry and not enjoy herself there.  She said the reason that Esther is this way is because at the house she was at before, the woman spoiled her a lot.  She told me that a part of Ghanaian culture is believing that if you spoil a child she will not be able to do well for herself in life because when hard times come she will not know how to handle them and how to take care of herself and not cry.  It makes sense.  She may miss her family but really she is much better off here and these people have given her a life that she would never be able to have otherwise.   I suppose I am spoiled with love because I miss my family so much.

Today I went to the ProWorld house and gave a presentation on my project and experience here.  
I realized that a lot of what I experienced here was much more culturally involved than some of the other volunteers. They all seemed so interested in my time on the farm and wishing to have interacted and learned in the way that I was able to.
I skyped with Jake, came home and ate some dinner, and watched a movie on my laptop.  

I tried the worst food today.  It’s called Banku.  A lot of things eaten here are made from pounded up things.  This is made up of corn that they pound into a dough-like substance that tastes fermented.  You eat it with sauce and fish or pretty much anything.  I seriously almost threw up a few times while trying to eat enough to make it look like I wanted to eat it.  There are still adjustments to be made after all of this time.

I also realized today how far I’ve come in terms of anxiety.  Its an unnecessary part of life.  I can not be anxious anymore.  I can only live life and enjoy myself and see what comes of it.  Anything else is pure lunacy.  We can only control the present moment and that’s what I am going to do.