Tonight I realized I was getting used to the routine of things. When I went to the bathroom and used barely any toilet paper and there was no light on in the bathroom, I felt totally at ease about it. Its just life now. Every time you go to a new place, you hope there’s gonna be a nice bathroom, but then it hits you again, oh yeah this is Africa, and then you are okay with it. I am getting used to the idea of having nothing and getting used to seeing all of these things. There will be moments where I feel so normal here and okay about life and am really enjoying this. And then suddenly out of nowhere I will feel real hatred for this place and everything I am doing and wish I was home and never had to come here. But then about an hour later it will switch back to being okay. It's just random bouts of home sickness for no reason, with no warning. I’ve heard this is really normal to feel out of nowhere.
One thing that’s really hard is the smell. Its overwhelming and I think that’s really affecting my appetite because everywhere you walk all day smells like the worst sewage imaginable. Its like standing in a sewer all day and trying to eat and breathe and feel happy. It’s a really big challenge to make the best of things and to really focus on enjoying the incredible experience. I love it though! When I do overcome the bad moments, I realize how amazing everything is. Even the people here, they're so incredible. The culture is so fun. I live next to a bar and our house is right on the side of this big square that everyone hangs out in. Its like the center of the town and every night there is loud music and cooking that my family sells to the people in the square. Their music is amazing but its so loud and plays till all hours of the night. The little kids get out in the square and just jam out and dance to the music. Even 2 year olds. Its adorable. Everyone likes to enjoy themselves here and just be out and about with each other. Its really cool.
Proworld people are also awesome. ProWorld is the volunteer organization through which I came to Ghana. My roommate Kate and all her friends are so chill. Shes just like me, obsessed with fall colors and long flowy skirts and being a hippy and loves music festivals and dred locks and loves the idea of traveling and helping the world. And she loves running. What??? Shes on the cross country team. And today I met all the new people like me who just got here and we all got to be overwhelmed together and got a huge orientation and got showed around the different areas. It made me feel really good because I already knew a lot of information and navigation from talking to Kate so nothing was really difficult today. But after a long day when I'm feeling tired and feel like I've faced so many issues in my day, I just feel like crap and wish I was home. Things aren't really easy here. Everything is a challenge. I got a burger today and it tasted rotten but that’s cause their meat isn’t like our meat. I need to start getting used to eating their dishes. But stuff like that just gets you down when you just want a nice meal or one good thing about the day. That’s why you have to focus on other things and just accept that things like bathrooms and food and hygiene need to be overlooked here. You can't get stuck on those things. You have to find ways to focus on everything else that there is to enjoy. Because there is a lot.
Today we actually went to really cool places that were more scenic and beautiful than just towns. They were more on the nature side of things. Seeing that was really incredible. Because Ghana is more developed, I cant really expect to see animals or rain forests here, especialy on the coast. I know we are going to a national park soon, but still, I need to travel to Kenya someday to see elephants!!
I haven't really been able to fall asleep yet and I havent showered yet. But I kind of realized, guess what? I am on an adventure in Africa and I'm gonna be a freaking dirty hippy and I love it. This is the life I've always wanted: wearing the same long loose pants, not worrying about what my face looks like because I haven't had a mirror in so long, and having really dirty feet from walking everywhere. Its amazing. Its so relaxed in that sense. I hope I stay this way when I come back home, just more relaxed about physical stuff because natural beauty and the person that you are, your happiness, your laughter, what you contribute to the world, that’s what is wonderful and beautiful about people. All of the people here are beautiful to me for that reason. The volunteers who don’t wear makeup and are just dirty hippies like me who want to help all these Ghanaian people, they are so beautiful in my eyes. And that’s all that matters in the world. None of this stressing about looking “right” according to american standards. Who is the United States? Whose standards are we following? Who decided this for us? Why do we stress about what we look like? Is it because everything in our world comes so easily and is not stressful so we have to have something to focus on? I think the answer is yes. And I think that is a waste of potential because we are wasting precious time and energy thinking about these things when there are so many more beautiful things that we could be doing such as loving each other, taking the whole world in, and truly experiencing life.
Honestly, I haven't felt this free and happy in a really long time. I don’t feel anxiety about life at all. I feel stressed about real things, but no random emotional anxiety. I just need to stay actively involved in life in order to be fully happy. I have felt sad and upset and homesick but not just weirdly anxious the way I normally do. It's been three days though so we'll see.
Today I saw these little kids playing with small kites. When I got closer, I realized the kites were made out of a ripped up piece of plastic garbage bag and string. They looked happy to be flying kites. It was a pretty significant moment for me.
Work starts tomorrow. My project partner seems really nice so hopefully we’ll just have a really great experience at the farm.
No comments:
Post a Comment