August 4, 2012- Day 30- Final Day in Ghana

Today I went to a beach resort with a few of the volunteers that were still left over from the July group, most of whom are leaving tomorrow as well.  This beach was beautiful.  There were coconut trees everywhere, all encircled by old coconuts shells.  The beach itself stretched out so far and the air around us had a slight fog and mist to it.  We walked for a while along the beach and collected some really cool seashells.  I even found two sand-dollars and a shell that was bright pink.  Most of the day was spent laying on chairs along the beach and just staring at the ocean, again thinking wow I can’t believe I am in Africa.  My friend Yo felt the same way.  We just couldn’t believe that we had been here for a month, actually living in Africa for one month.  We also ate some coconuts picked fresh off of the trees. As I walked to get a taxi back to Elmina, I finished off my time in Ghana just right.  I got myself a rockie (muffin) and a FanIce (ice cream in a bag that tastes like vanilla ice cream mixed with vanilla frosting).  Both of these things I will miss about Ghana.  For the rest of the night I am just going to relax at home with my family, enjoying music and food, just being in Ghana for a little bit longer.

Random stuff I‘ve failed to include in my journals:
-I mentioned earlier that everything comes in bags.  I forgot to say that even shots of alcohol can come in mini bags that you have to rip the corner of and drink from.  
-In Ghana, it is considered rude if you smell your food, a sign of disrespect. That is difficult for me because I have a thing for smelling everything.  I just need to know how it smells.  I always forget not to do it.  
-Sometimes you will see men here with one very long finger nail or maybe two.  It looks very odd.  I asked Francesca about it and she said they just do it for fun, maybe to scratch things or pick at something if they need to.  Pastor Sam said that it can be a sign of being in a certain group or gang.

This entire journal has been pretty unorganized and mostly consisted of my personal feelings and thought processes.  To finish off the experience I just wanted to say that I feel privileged to have been able to come and visit even a small part of Africa.  It’s been such a wonderful experience on so many levels.  I have met a lot of amazing people and learned a lot from them about Ghana and about culture in general.  I have learned to deal with and adapt to a different culture which makes me feel as if I am advancing anthropologically.  This entire trip has made me feel that my life has finally begun to move forward.  I’m just extremely glad that I chose to travel and chose to come here for this experience.  I am also grateful that I didn’t get any sickness, parasite, malaria, etc.  I have been pretty healthy this whole trip.  I have also been pretty happy.  On that note, I can’t wait for the plane ride back home tomorrow.

See you soon America!

August 3, 2012- Day 29

There are a few things I wanted to mention before my trip is over.

-Plastic bags are called poulitans. 
-When people want you to come they either say “bra” which means come and then do an up/down waving motion beckoning you to them, or they make the sound “Ssssss.”  

Before coming home I wanted to make some lists.

Things I miss most about home:

-being with the people I love

-hot showers

-having clean hair

-food, so much food, especially sweets

-wearing skinny jeans and tight clothing

-late summer nights

-not being the only white person that everyone stares at and pays attention to.  I miss blending in

-being able to sleep in because I’m not woken up by barking dogs, loud music, or shouting women or screaming children

-just my life in general. everything is on hold, so much is going on back home and I’m not there for it. I want to just get back to being me and hanging out with friends and family and do stuff that I want.

Things I will miss when I go back home:

-walking along the ocean on my way to work, with giant palm trees, huge waves, and fishing boats

-seeing beautiful African children who are so cute and loving and adorable everywhere.  There are so many kids everywhere here which I love.

-sitting outside at night listening to really good African music and watching everyone socialize

-the pineapples here (they taste like candy)

-lack of stress because this isn’t my reality that I live in so I don’t have to deal with anything

-everything costing so little

-women singing all the time here
-bright and colorful fabrics

There are some things that when I first got here I missed a lot about home.  But after a week or so I forgot about them and now don’t care.  Examples include the way it smells here, like sewers and fish, and the amount of dirtiness and garbage everywhere.  I still recognize these things but they don’t feel foreign anymore.  I’m sure the fresh air and cleanliness of America will shock me.  There are a lot of things that when I got here I was shocked about like the poverty and the small shacks that people live in and the naked children with swollen bellybuttons.  These things are still tragic but after you see them every day you become desensitized and don’t feel upset every time you see it.  It’s really interesting to observe the transition in myself.  I know there are things that I should miss but they don’t really phase me.  I didn’t even start missing most things on my list until the past few days when I started to think about going home.  I learned to deal with it.  It’s really cool to me how we force ourselves to adapt.  We don’t fight change for very long because there is no reason to.  I put myself in this situation and knew that if I didn’t adapt as soon as possible that it would be so much more difficult and painful to be away from home.  I started out having a panic attack here and then snapped out of it the very next morning because I knew that if I allowed myself to continue to panic any longer that I wouldn’t mentally survive.  I think humans are really cool for that aspect of adaptability that we have.  I’m proud of myself for being able to do that because it often seems that at home I let my emotions get out of control and it messes things up for me. The more you let yourself lose control, the more out of control things become.  But when it was really important to take care of myself, I did that and everything turned out to be amazing and here I am at the end of my journey feeling happy and functioning better than normal.  I just think its amazing how when faced with a challenge at first it seems so difficult and you have no idea how to deal with it, but somehow you just figure things out.  I was so nervous about taking taxis here because you have to find taxis and go to stations and hail cabs on the side of the road using various hand signals for different locations all while communicating with people who barely speak English and often try to rip you off.  But after the first time, it’s as if somewhere inside of myself I already knew how to do this.  I didn’t have to teach myself, I just picked it up.  A lot of my learning here felt that way.  Not necessarily like a challenge, just natural.  It felt natural to adapt to something scary. I felt unusually calm for most of this journey.  

Knowing the progress that my mind has made since coming here is really incredible.  Seeing my difference in opinion from day 1 of this journal to day 29 is such a cool thing.  I have learned so much in Africa about myself and about the world.  And I’ve learned that I love cultures just as much as I knew I did.  It really reassured me that Anthropology is exactly what I want to do.  I love cultures.  It also made me realize how little I know about American culture and made me wonder what the cool little intricacies of our culture are and if we even have any.  There are so many cool things that are done here, so many symbols and specific acts that are hard to observe in our culture because to us it is just the way that we live life, not something that you can explain or define as culture.  Coming to Ghana makes me want to read my Anthropology textbooks more thoroughly and do my own outside reading on so many countries.  I love it.  

One thing I am scared about is any future traveling.  I feel like it’s really weird to be away from home for so long, for the most part disconnected with your whole life.  Yes, I can adapt and get used to it and take care of myself, but home is the happiest place on earth.  I love the people I know and the places that I live and the things I have surrounded myself with.  I don’t really want to be away from all of it for very long.  However, traveling does make you appreciate home and does make you appreciate the life you have.  I feel so fortunate to be alive and living the life that I am living.  That’s why I would recommend an opportunity like this to everyone, especially people my age who don’t know where they fit into the world and who have a problem finding happiness and peace inside of themselves.  Leave your world behind and discover the rest of the world because in doing so you’ll find out how good your life is.  It’s good to take yourself out of your comfort zone, away from people who love you, away from the ease of daily life in the United States.  This will teach you to not take any of that for granted.  You will come home a much happier person, relieved to return to the life you left behind, and even happier to be a part of that life.

August 2, 2012- Day 28

Today was my last day at work.  I walked by the beach like I do every morning.  I felt so much anxiety inside of me still from last night and it just felt so heavy and consuming.  I kept trying to focus on the beautiful women carrying baskets on their heads, on the ocean waves coming in and out, on the breeze through the palm trees, on the beautiful African children running around and playing.  It was all incredible.  I realized how much I love being here and how happy these things have come to make me.  Over time, things here have come to feel like home. 
Getting home from work to my host family is nice.  Walking these streets, experiencing what I’ve been experiencing, has all just been so awesome.  At work, I dug up more beds which is always intense labor.  I’m using all of my muscles, pulling up dirt with a hoe, getting calluses on my hands, pulling my shoulder, sweating like a maniac, getting dirt in my hair and all over my face.  It’s pretty awesome.  So I did that for about one hour today.  My muscles have seriously gotten bigger.  I’m definitely stronger than before.  Then, we literally sat for the next 4 hours.  Aya, Kofi, Cynthia, Monica, and I all sat and talked and took naps throughout the midday. Neighbors would trickle in and we would talk to them and then go back to napping.  I just stared off into the distance.  I can’t believe 4 hours went by.  It was really nice and relaxing.  I think the comparison with back home is that at home we feel that we always need to rush off to the next best thing which I think is because there is a next best thing to rush to. Here, I felt antsy and rushed the first few days and then I realized, there is nowhere for me to rush to, there is nothing better I could be doing than just enjoying life with these people right here doing absolutely nothing.  It’s a really nice feeling.  At first I felt trapped about it because I couldn’t go hang out with my friends when I was bored and wanted to see them. Then I realized, I came all the way to Africa.  This is the way it is.  Deal with it.  And so I did.  Ever since I came to that realization, I’ve been pretty okay overall.  Even my trip here as a whole, I simply had to realize that this isn’t forever and that I’ll get home at some point, but in the mean time I may as well just be here.  

After sitting, Reverend Sam showed up with another feast for my going away party: large amounts of chicken, rice, and sugar cookies.  It was really nice.  I told him about my idea.  My idea that I presented in my presentation yesterday in order to progress the organization is that interns should be given more opportunity to really take action in this program, rather than just working on the farm.  I told him that maybe for one month they could work on the farm in order to get a good feel for it, to see the needs, and to understand where the goals of the organization lay.  After this point, they should begin working in the office doing research to look for other organizations with a similar mission all across the world, and furthermore write letters asking for funding to further our project.  I feel that this would take the CLCD so much further with its goals and would also greatly enrich the intern experience.  He loved the idea and was so excited to bring this into the program for future volunteers.  I may try to do this type of work when I get home as well, to try to help out further and to stay involved in the program even after leaving.  

It was really hard saying goodbye to Aya and the family.  I really loved being around them all and knowing that this is such a real goodbye made me feel sad.  I hugged her a bunch of times and she kept saying “Oh, Sister Esi!” and then “You call me when you go to America.”  It was just a really moving experience to realize how much I had gotten used to seeing them every day and that I would miss them and also knowing that they would miss me too.  I would love to come back here many years from now just to check back in with everyone.  It’s so cool to come to Ghana or to travel anywhere and make such a connection with so many people and know that if you would ever come back that they would immediately invite you into their home and let you stay there for as long as you want.  People in Ghana are so open and friendly in this way.  I’ve been taken into this family.  Aya told me to send money so that they could build me a house there. Then I can always come back and just stay with them there in my little house.  I know that even Reverend Sam would not hesitate to let me live with him.  It’s such a good feeling.  

Today I asked Cynthia what she loves most about living in Ghana.  She told me that this is a country of peace and everyone loves each other.  I told her that America isn’t like that.  We don’t love each other the way they do here.  You can meet someone and the next minute they will be your life long best friend here.  She said that if you haven’t seen one of your close friends for maybe one or two days, you will go and find them and ask them why they have not visited you and ask them if they are upset with you and all of those things.  I love that closeness and the way everyone is family here.  Even if I go to America for 10 years and then come back, they will say to people “This is my sister from America.”

For the next two days that I am here I will be relaxing at home and just enjoying myself.  Then on Sunday morning I will wake up early, bringing all of my bags and everything with me, and go to Reverend Sam’s church.  He said that he is going to present me with a gift in front of the whole church and give me a good send-off.  Then from there, we will leave for Accra and I will get on my plane for a 12 ride back to the United States of America, 28 hours of traveling total from leaving Cape Coast to Accra, Accra to Atlanta, Atlanta to Boston, and Boston to Falmouth.

Cultural fact of the day: People here are very superstitious.  If you trip on the sidewalk or even stub your toe, this is bad luck and puts a curse on your day.  Due to this, every time I trip on something or run into anything, they always say “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”  I think they are apologizing that I will have bad luck now, not because it was their fault that I tripped.  

Later:

It’s a good night in Ghana when you come home from work, hang out with the family, helping make some tilapia, good music playing in the square, and then you go upstairs and relax to an episode of that 70s show and a bowl of spaghetti with milk and sugar.  Life is so weird and yet finding ways to adjust is so normal. I love that there are things that have become my favorite meals here and that there are things that when my mom here makes them for me, I know it is because she knows its my favorite and that I’ll eat all of it.  Today she made me this really good coleslaw salad stuff. It is so perfectly delicious.   

August 1, 2012- Day 27

I couldn’t sleep last night.  Life is too exciting.  I’m going home so soon and I can’t wait.  Not because Africa wasn’t amazing, but because life is great and every next thing that I do always makes me so happy and excited to do that.  I was excited to go to Cape Cod, then so excited to go to Africa, and now excited to go home!  I love living life always moving from place to place because I am constantly getting ready to go somewhere and living in that fun anticipation of the next great adventure.  It makes me realize all of the good things in life because I am away from people I love every time I go anywhere, so I am always realizing how important those people are to me when I am not with them and then when I get to see them again.  

This morning Francesca was talking to me about the little girl who lives with them, named Esther.  She was from a poor family who could not afford to take care of all of their children.  So, in exchange for a little bit of help around the house, they took her in.  They treat her like she is their own child.  They send her to school, feed her, give her special treats once in a while, and she is expected to do some small chores like sweeping or washing dishes.  The past few days I have seen her crying a lot.  She does not want to be here and she cries and cries.  Her father finally came for her and she was telling him lies about how they scream at her and beat her and accuse her of being a thief.  So he took her home for the vacation from school which lasts one month.  Francesca said that she will realize how well she had it here because at her home they are very poor and she will be very hungry and not enjoy herself there.  She said the reason that Esther is this way is because at the house she was at before, the woman spoiled her a lot.  She told me that a part of Ghanaian culture is believing that if you spoil a child she will not be able to do well for herself in life because when hard times come she will not know how to handle them and how to take care of herself and not cry.  It makes sense.  She may miss her family but really she is much better off here and these people have given her a life that she would never be able to have otherwise.   I suppose I am spoiled with love because I miss my family so much.

Today I went to the ProWorld house and gave a presentation on my project and experience here.  
I realized that a lot of what I experienced here was much more culturally involved than some of the other volunteers. They all seemed so interested in my time on the farm and wishing to have interacted and learned in the way that I was able to.
I skyped with Jake, came home and ate some dinner, and watched a movie on my laptop.  

I tried the worst food today.  It’s called Banku.  A lot of things eaten here are made from pounded up things.  This is made up of corn that they pound into a dough-like substance that tastes fermented.  You eat it with sauce and fish or pretty much anything.  I seriously almost threw up a few times while trying to eat enough to make it look like I wanted to eat it.  There are still adjustments to be made after all of this time.

I also realized today how far I’ve come in terms of anxiety.  Its an unnecessary part of life.  I can not be anxious anymore.  I can only live life and enjoy myself and see what comes of it.  Anything else is pure lunacy.  We can only control the present moment and that’s what I am going to do.  

July 31, 2012- Day 26

This morning I saw that Francesca had corn flakes and I got so excited. I said, “I love cornflakes.” So this night when I got home, Mama Teiko handed me a bag and inside the bag was….Cornflakes! I was so happy.  This literally made my entire day.  I love this family.  I’ve realized lately how much of a mother Mama Teiko has become.  She is worried about my health, doing nice things for me, making sure I’m well fed and happy.  It’s so wonderful.  Every day she makes me Moringa tea and doesn’t let me go to work until I drink it.  Francesca and me are also having cute conversations like sisters.  Today there was a big event going on in our square outside the house and she offered to borrow my camera while I was at work so she could take pictures and videos for me.  I, of course, said yes.  It was so nice of her.  

Today in the square was a celebration for the one week of President Mills death.  Celebration doesn’t have the same connotation as it does at home.  They aren’t happy that he died.  But still they will have gatherings and parties.  So many people from all different surrounding districts came, all wearing red and black, to listen to music, and just hang out under big tents, in memory of President Mills.  They were selling pictures of him, and even made a type of throne for him with his photograph seated in his place.  There were so many people.  Black represents mourning and red is the color of battle.  They are fighting because they are in an emotional battle due to the sadness that they are facing.  The symbolism behind a lot of things here is incredibly meaningful.

So my day went like this: I woke up early, ate so much baby food cereal, waited for my tea, drank my tea, finished my book about zen, didn’t get ripped off by the cab driver, still arrived to work late like usual, labored in the fields, and then relaxed.  The field is looking so nice now.  There are no more sticks or garbage.  The land is all turned up and the plants are growing to be very big.  So much progress for that field in just a few weeks.  

Cynthia told me today that when she gave birth to her third born, she got a boil on her breast.  When they removed it, it hurt a nerve that goes all the way to her back.  She has had back pains ever since. We worked hard.  I used a machete to weed the plants.  It was pretty fun.  Aya said that Drew called her from the airport and that it made her cry.  That made my heart feel warm inside.  I am leaving some of my pants here for her because she asked me for them every time I came to work wearing them.  I bought them for working on the farm, and she will continue working on the farm, so why not?  I also brought Kofi and Aya bread today because bread is not sold in the town that they live in. They live too far away for the bread truck to come to them.  I got home from work to a lot of people all partying outside of my house (the funeral ceremony).  Then I made my way over to the ProWorld house for our weekly meetings.  We had a meeting about human rights and the fact that being diagnosed with AIDS will cause people to be shut out of society.  People will not work with them or let them live in their house, often because they think that they can catch it just from sitting near you or talking to you.  This of course depends on the location in which you live.  Others even believe that AIDS is caused by evil spirits and that if you go to a priest and then fast for 40 days, it will go away.  

After this meeting, we all sat around and I got to use the internet for a long time, looking up books for school, etc.  We did not go out to eat because some of the volunteers were cooking us dinner.  It took forever to be ready, but I am very used to waiting for things here.  The dinner was so good.  We had fish, rice, corn, watermelon, and some vegetables cooked with spices.  I ate so much of this, even two servings of rice.  Afterward I was still hungry.  On my way back I stopped and picked up some chocolate cookie crackers.  Starting to feel at home here, I am now sitting in my room and am going to eat some cornflakes with hot water and milk powder! I love it here because everything becomes exciting and makes me happy.  Even eating real cereal, despite the fact that I have no real milk, sounds great. Cornflakes made my day.  The fact that they went out of their way to buy me cornflakes really made my day, actually.  

June 30, 2012- Day 25

The fact that I have been here for 25 days and that July is already over is blowing my mind.  Even the beginning of July came so fast.  I can’t believe summer is over and that I’ve already worked for a month, gone to Africa for a month, and am about to come back home.  As I was working on my Capstone Presentation yesterday, I realized that there are a few things that I wish I had gotten out of this experience that I didn’t.  I wish I had been more involved, felt like I was really doing an internship rather than just working on the farm all day.  I was under the impression originally that the work we were doing would also involve doing research and writing proposals for funds to increase the sustainability of the project.  However, I did get the cultural immersion that I was looking forward to.  I did get to learn about many aspects of the culture, and live within it, having to do many of the things that are a part of their culture.  That is one cool part about working on the farm, is that I had to do real work, not just feel like a volunteer.  Many volunteers noted that they did not feel even as involved at their projects as I did.

My anxiety levels are rising.  I feel anxious and restless to come home.  I feel as if I am dreading this week and that it is dragging out.  I can’t get it out of my head, last night, even while dreaming, and this morning.  I can’t just enjoy myself the way I was.  It’s difficult to be aware of your emotions and realize that there are different points in time when your emotional levels will be higher and more overwhelming than at other times.  I think this is one of those times, and having nothing to do with circumstance I just feel anxious. And of course the mind must find something to attribute it to.  The book I am reading talks all about not allowing these emotions to rule your life, but that when they arise you have to be aware that they are there and watch them and let them go, making the decision to live in the present.  Emotions are very strong though.  I feel like I’m wrestling with myself in my mind, me trying to fight with myself to calm that self.  I haven’t even gone to work today yet and this is how I have felt all morning while trying to yoga and eat breakfast and just relax.  Despite emotions, after today is over, the week will go by quickly because tomorrow is dinner with ProWorld, Wednesday is my presentation which means I don’t work, and then Thursday is a party at work for my departure.  That leaves Friday and Saturday to enjoy myself and then I will be on my way home.  

Today I came downstairs at the time I leave every morning: 8 am.  Then Mama Teiko handed me my Moringa tea.  So I sat and drank it and felt no anxiety about having to rush anywhere.  I just sat and drank because that was what I was doing at the time and I would go to work later.  Then I had to wait while she made my lunch which was white rice with an egg, tomato, and onion sauce.  I took a taxi to the junction that I usually walk to in order to save time because I was 45 minutes late.  At the junction, I asked for a car to Dwenasi.  Today is my first day without Drew.  He is more forceful and it is just easier to not have to worry about things.  Today I felt stressed because there was no taxi yet.  So I sat.  And kept sitting for about 45 more minutes.  I kept getting up and asking but there was no car.  And I kept telling them that there is always a car.  Finally there was a car that would bring me half way.  When we got to the next taxi junction and he dropped me off, I went to pay him 50 pesawas but he demanded that I pay him 1 cedi (double the price).  I told him it was always 50.  He said no, so I gave him 1 cedi.  Then I took a taxi to Dwenasi from there.  Cynthia told me I had been cheated because it was 50 pesawas.  I felt like crying because I felt defeated.  I’ve had experiences like this many times but always stood up for myself and didn’t feel defeated.  But today I just felt like things were too difficult.  This is definitely the time in my life when I have PMS, just to keep things clear.  So I got to work at 10.45 instead of 9 am.  We sat and watched Aya do laundry.  Then her baby Monica pooped everywhere, in her underwear, down her leg, on the ground.  They just picked her up and put her on a little bucket and washed her clothes.  I thought that even in places without diapers, they would have cloth diapers.  But they don’t here at this house anyway.  When we finally worked, we went into the field and dug up more beds.  It started raining so we took a break.  When we went back to dig up beds,  I was having such a hard time.  I am not strong at all and couldn’t dig more than one or two beds, but the man working with us dug maybe 8 beds and laughed at me for being so tired.  My hands were very red and my legs and arms were aching.   We sat and rested and then when it was time to leave, Aya came with a little cast-iron fire pit.  She then roasted corn on top of a screen over the fire.  I helped her shuck the corn and turned the corn for her so it wouldn’t burn.  It tasted so good.  It was a mix between corn on the cob and popcorn.  I love this stuff about work.  I love when were are sitting around cooking and eating and I get to see more of the culture.  Aya’s older children came home and they were all just playing around, laughing at Monica for falling down, things any family would do.  It was great.  

Due to the fact that I was ripped off earlier, I had to borrow money from Kofi in order to get home that evening.  

The other day my sister tried to give me some movies to watch.  She had a few random discs.  Some horror movie about a girl who is killed and comes back to get everyone who murdered her.  Other things, all of which she described as being such a beautiful movie.  I wish they had worked on my laptop.  They all looked so lame and awesome.  She even gave me a Barbie movie! I got to go into her room and saw that she is a normal girl.  It made me sad for her.  She’s at least 24.  She works so hard and just spends time with her mom but she likes to get dressed up and look pretty and has a bunch of Fructis Garnier hair products and Biore face wipes.  She has a lot of things that she probably saved a lot of money to have.  Kind of like me, how there is no way my parents could have bought me all of the random clothes I have but I liked them so I made it happen.  I have more clothes than all of my friends.  I get caught up in thinking this is a third world country so people are worried about surviving.  But they’re still people.  She wants to have fun and be happy and go out and dress up.  I’ve seen her when she puts a pretty dress on.  She’s beautiful.  She told me she used to go out with volunteers that lived with them and they had so much fun.  But now she is so busy selling her tilapia.  She works all day preparing the sauces, gutting the fish and then works all night cooking and selling.  She has no time to have fun and no time to save money to get a job that would give her better money.  Tonight she asked me to escort her to the atm down the street so we took a cab there.  It was nice.  I feel like we are becoming friends now.  She wants me to stay in touch when I leave which is really cool.  

I don’t know if I have mentioned the fact that taxis have sticker words placed on the back car window.  They all say different things, usually in reference to Jesus or God like most things in Ghana.  But today I saw some that felt like a sign meant just for me.  The first one I took notice of said “Be Silent.”  Then later in the day I saw one that said “Awake.”  Finally I saw a bumper sticker that said “Good energy is coming your way.”  All of these really made me think.  Quiet your mind Rachel.  Wake up and just enjoy life rather than thinking about unhappiness, restlessness, etc.  You have nothing to worry about.  Good energy is coming.  These are all of things that I have been reading about this past month and thinking about.  And the one day I really feel like I can’t take it, here are these signs, telling me to just be.  These journals are not just about my adventures in Africa but about personal growth as I leave everything behind and journey to a foreign country.  Everything in my life is like this.  There is always an opportunity for inspiration and development.  I think I am doing one thing, but somehow I am always learning personal life lessons that will add to who I am as a person.  I guess this is just every day of life.  You think you are just doing something, going to class, talking to people, etc, but in reality life is one big learning experience after another.  Every person you interact with has something to teach you.  Every action you take, every positive or negative outcome, will show you something about yourself or show you how to change yourself.  This is why I am excited to be alive.  Even when your entire day was terrible,  negativity and positivity don’t exist.  The only thing that matters is what you learn from that experience.  There is gain even in struggle and suffering.  In fact, in times of trial and difficulties, that is when you learn the most.  That is when your life is the most enriched because it gives you the opportunity to dig deeper into who you are, way inside of yourself.

Cultural Facts: 
-When people are eating, it is socially polite for them to say “You are invited” in order to tell you that you can also eat with them. They don’t necessarily want you to eat with them, they just have to say it, they have to offer or else they will be being rude.  
-When you are with someone and they say “I am coming” what they mean is that they will be right back.  It’s really silly to me every time they say it.  At first I didn’t understand what was going on but now I get it and wait for them to come back.

-Today Cynthia told me that in Ghana if you have a dream about a relative dying, that means that they will live a long life.  There you go Thomas.  You will live forever, I promise.  

-Women breastfeed openly everywhere.  I am not sure if this is the way it is with every woman, but Aya lets Monica basically own her breasts.  She will pull them out for Monica and then Monica will nurse while standing or doing anything.  She pulls, tugs, and turns her breasts every way that she wants.  It looks painful and looks like it is one of the causes of Aya’s breasts sagging so much.  It is not a gentle loving thing the way I would see a mother breastfeeding in America.  When I see Monica nursing it is more like she is eating Aya rather than Aya feeding her.  

July 29, 2012- Day 24

This morning I woke up after having a dream about my brother Thomas dying.  I have nightmares a lot at home but have had none in Africa until the past couple of nights.  It really shook me up and made me feel that I need to be home because I am never with my family, but they mean so much to me.  Life is so fragile and that is why we have to spend time with the people we love most, appreciating life to the fullest, before it is quickly snatched away from us.  

I slept in a little bit and then read more of my book about living in the Now.  I also did a lot of Yoga, and sat in meditation for about 15 minutes, listening to beautiful singing coming from the church next door.  It feels so nice to just really live life, every moment of it, instead of rushing from place to place.  Just being is so wonderful.  I showered, drank Moringa tea, watched a movie on my laptop,  and it is now only 12.30 am.  A full day already lived.  I’m happy for everything.  I am happy to be doing nothing right now.  I am happy for tomorrow, happy to go home next week, happy to see Jake, happy to really go home to Rochester in another week. I am happy to go to school soon, and I am happy not to go to school yet.  I am thoroughly happy.  Right now there is still beautiful, choral, angelic singing being carried by the wind into my window.  Earlier it was more praise and worship centered.  It is all beautiful.  Life is all beautiful because it is not about the problems going on in your mind or about the stresses and anxieties that the past and future hold.  Life is about the exact sensations that you are experiencing now.  Whether good or bad, just feeling them fully is where the beauty lays.  I am just sitting here breathing and life is wonderful.  

Later:

I feel very low on energy here from time to time.  I feel shaky and hungry even though I have already had a few meals in the day.  I eat so much and don’t feel full.  I think about food all the time even if I just ate.  Even when my belly feels expanded, my stomach doesn’t feel full.  

I basically spent the entire day just relaxing and reading.  I sat on the steps to read for a bit so that I could get a view of what was going on and be a part of the family life here.  Francesca spent the day removing scales and guts from fish.  Last night she was very busy selling the tilapia in front of the house so she asked me to help her.  She cooked the fish and I would put the onions and green peppers and the sauce on the fish.  It was fun to do this with her.  We were just hanging out outside, music playing,  people eating.  It seems like a really cool life.  

I felt pretty bored today for the first time in a while.  The past two days I have done nothing.  I keep needing to tell myself that I am also on summer vacation with nothing to do, and to just enjoy myself by reading books and napping.  I finished the last half of my book today except for the final chapter which I will read tomorrow.  There is a power outage here so I am sitting in the dark with my “torch” or flashlight, as Americans would call it, and am going to go to sleep soon because that’s all you can really do when its pitch black out.  Tomorrow is my last Monday here.  Last first day of work of the week.  I am excited to go home!

I am feeling very tired today as well.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I just feel incapable of keeping my eyes open.  Goodnight at 7.30 pm!